I Take A Crack At Ranking Every Film In The Marvel Universe

July 3, 2012 - CMP Original, Headlines, Staff Columns, Top Stories

Now that The Amazing Spider-Man is swinging back into theaters and The Avengers have assembled, I attempted to go back and rank every live action feature in the Marvel Universe. The quality of comic book films has seemingly improved (ok…maybe DC Comics still has a lot to learn) and Marvel properties have become a valuable commodity in Hollywood. Although Dolph Lundgren’s Punisher is technically a Marvel film, I chose not to include it since Marvel doesn’t acknowledge the film’s existence on Marvel.com. The list is clearly debatable, but I did my best. Feel free to rip it apart . . .

The Avengers – Ten years ago, no one would have ever believed this film could exist. Over one billion dollars later, the film proved a quality superhero team-up film is possible. Joss Whedon masterfully handled the perfectly cast heroes and gave us some of the best 40 minutes of action in movie history. The financial and critical success of The Avengers officially makes the Marvel brand one of the most well-handled franchises in cinema history. “Phase 2″ promises to take things to the next level.
Iron Man – Without Iron Man, we may have never seen The Avengers. Without Jon Faverou, I’m not convinced Robert Downey Jr. would have landed the role of a lifetime. The duo gave audiences a near perfect film that was the perfect blend of action, comedy and story. The Green Lantern proved delivering the goods on a slightly obscure comic book character to the general public is not an easy task.
Spider-Man 2 – The best of Sam Raimi’s trilogy is also one of the better comic book films ever made. Although the film benefits from not dealing with an origin story, it also has a quality villain in Alfred Molina’s Doctor Octopus. The battle between the two after Doc Ock robs the bank is still one of my favorite action sequences of all-time. We had so much promise for Raimi’s Spider-Man after this one…
Blade II – Probably debatable, but some forget just how good Blade was in his second outing. The film proves how important a worthy adversary is in a superhero flick. Instead of just another deadly vampire, Guillermo del Toro introduces us to the Reapers. The creatures that hunt both vampires and humans are just what the franchise needed. Unfortunately, del Toro may have set the bar too high. Expect the word “reboot” to soon be associated with everyone’s favorite vampire hunter.
X2: X-Men United – The franchise headed in the right direction when it took on the General Striker storyline. The sequel had improved both the mutants and the special effects after a sub-par first outing. I still don’t know why Nightcrawler was never heard from again . . .
X-Men: First Class – Matthew Vaughn’s prequel is up there with the best of the X-Men series. James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender are perfectly cast as Professor X and Magneto. We all know what happens to the former friends in the end, but we still kept wanting to know what happened next. A much-needed fresh take on the franchise after The Last Stand left us with mutant fatigue.
Thor – No one knew what to expect from a Thor feature film, but Kenneth Branagh and Chris Hemsworth deliver the goods. The film seamlessly transitions the Marvel Universe from science to outer-space. The action off and on the earth is compelling (I hope we see the Frost Giants again in the future). I was skeptical of a Thor film when it was first announced, but this was a pleasant surprise.
Captain America: The First Avenger – I’m not sure if there is anything to not like when it comes to The First Avenger. Hugo Weaving’s Red Skull is dead on and the story Capt’s evolution from weakling to super solider is the ultimate hero story. I’m unsure if Captain’s modern day tales will ever top this one.
Spider-Man – Spider-Man became the first monster blockbuster for Marvel after grossing $114 million dollars in its opening weekend and going on to gross $821 million dollars worldwide. Tobey Maguire slides nicely into the role of Peter Parker, and Raimi gets the origin story right. Willem Dafoe is actually the perfect Green Goblin, but the green space suit is a huge miss. Raimi probably would have ditched the suit if he knew five years later he would bring Sandman and Venom into his Spidey Universe.
Blade – It’s hard to believe this one is almost 15 years old. Blade could actually be considered Marvel’s first successful film. The opening club scene sets the stage for a serious hero flick that takes no prisoners.
The Incredible Hulk – The second incarnation of The Hulk is now the second best version after The Avengers. The film is a significant improvement over Ang Lee’s Hulk, but Abomination was not enough (but I loved Tim Roth). CGI vs. CGI can work, but the two are too much alike. It’s possible this film (and The Avengers) proves that the green giant is better served when he is teamed up with another hero (and fighting a mass alien invasion).
X-Men – The success of X-Men proved Marvel could introduce the world to lesser known heroes and be successful. The films $75 million dollar budget is roughly half of what the going average is for a Marvel film today. The effects are decent, but the film could only do so much at the time. The film is well-cast and lays the groundwork for the superior X2. I still wish they would have done a little better with Sabertooth.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine – The film was intended to be a solo film, but it features more mutants than most of the X-Men films (ok…maybe not The Last Stand). I didn’t mind the inclusion of The Blob, Gambit and the improved Sabertooth, but do we really need Deadpool, Silverfox, Agent Zero, Emma Frost, Cyclops, Professor X and whoever Will.i.am was supposed to be?
Iron Man 2 – Easily the most disappointing film in The Avengers “phase one” collection. Is the movie terrible? Absolutely not… Unfortunatly, the sequel fails to live up to the original with a villain (Whiplash) who spends a majority of the movie locked up in a laboratory. It’s quite possible Faverou set the bar too high.
Punisher: War Zone – The good news is that they finally got The Punisher right….The bad news is that it took them three times. Punisher: War Zone is a hard core action film that separates itself from the other films as soon as Frank Castle breaks up a party five minutes into the picture and starts slashing throats. The film is not great, but it is an improvement. Frank Castle is another character who might work better teaming up with another hero. How about a Hulk/Punisher flick?
Spider-Man 3 – I guess you can thank this film for giving us the upcoming The Amazing Spider-Man. I have always been a huge fan of The Sandman and Venom in the comics and their inclusion had me excited. I never considered the possibility that they simply didn’t belong in Raimi’s Spidey universe.
X-Men: The Last Stand – Aside from Kelsey Grammer’s spot-on Beast, there is not much to like here. A few problems here: Rogue is missing from most of the film, Ratner and company take the liberty of creating their own mutants, Professor X is killed, Cyclops is killed, Jean Grey’s return as Phoenix is boring, and we have to deal with about 50 bad one-liners. I think Marvel greenlit the prequel because this was going nowhere.
Daredevil – Casting Michael Clarke Duncan as The Kingpin ended up being a solid decision by Mark Steven Johnson. Ironically, using Bullseye as the secondary villain was huge miss. A combination of Farrell’s accent and ridiculous look didn’t help the film. The character is a good nemesis in the comics, but the transition to film didn’t work. Electra’s inclusion also lead to some ridiculous moments in the film.
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer – Better than the first film, but not very good. Marvel’s decision to infuse the Silver Surfer into the Fantastic Universe was a necessary move. Simply put, there was nowhere else to go . . .
Ghost Rider – Ghost Rider made $228 million dollars worldwide because we didn’t know any better. A solid marketing campaign had us believing that Nicolas Cage could pull off the transformation. The flick is filled with bad-liners wrapped in another bizarre Cage performance. I enjoyed watching the Rider drive down a building, but the character doesn’t work on film.
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance – We were promised an improvement over the first film, but ended up with much of the same. I’m fairly certain we will never see another Ghost Rider film again . . .
Hulk – The improved versions of the Hulk are not helping Ang Lee’s version. At the time, many applauded Lee for his serious interpretation of the character. The Avengers proved it was not what audiences wanted.
Fantastic Four – Watching the characters deal with their new powers is painful. The tone always seems off and the film is completely miscast. Other than Michael Chiklis as The Thing, Ioan Gruffudd (who?), Jessica Alba (come on), and Chris Evans (better as our Captain) have zero chemistry. Also, Julian McMahon’s Doctor Doom is never sinister enough. A reboot is in the works, but I’m not sure what it’s going to take to get this one right.
The Punisher – I’m not sure where to begin. Should I start with John Travolta as the villainous Howard Saint? How about the ridiculous subplot where Saint believes his wife is having an affair with his right hand man? Other than the title and the main character’s name, this is anything but a Punisher movie.
Blade: Trinity – Talk about driving a stake through a franchise . . . It’s hard to believe David S. Goyer could help write Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight franchise AND direct this piece of shit. I had high hopes for the film upon hearing Blade would square off against Dracula. Instead of an epic battle, we get a GQ version of the legendary vampire who Blade takes on with the help of the Nightstalkers. Instead of capitalizing on the second film, the studio seemed more concerned with laying the groundwork for a spin-off. Apparently, Snipes was not happy with the film . . . Neither was anyone else . . .
Elektra – Marvel has had its fair share of mistakes, but making a solo Elektra picture could be considered the worst decision they have ever made. Marvel has some great female heroes and this is not one of them.
Howard the Duck – Technically it’s a Marvel film, but we won’t hold it against them.
Man-Thing – I was shocked to find this film recognized on Marvel.com. Worse than Straight-to-DVD quality . . .