An Open Letter To Dan Aykroyd
Dear Mr. Aykroyd,
I don’t blame Bill Murray for shredding the Ghostbusters 3 script and sending a note indicating “No one wants to pay money to see fat, old men chasing ghosts.” Murray is right . . . we don’t. I am tired of seeing film franchises revived over and over again as an opportunity to line the pockets of those behind them. Unfortunately, this is not the first time you have attempted to feed us garbage since the late 80’s.
It all started with Caddyshack II. Perhaps part of Bill Murray’s animosity is propelled by the embarrassing (not to mention unnecessary) 1988 sequel. I was not surprised to learn your role as Capt. Tom Everett won you the Razzie Award for Best Supporting Actor. The overdone performance is one of the worst I have ever seen. I also could have done without My Stepmother is an Alien. The $2 million dollar opening in 1988 was evidence of the disconnect with audiences.
It’s also quote possible Ghostbusters II shares the blame for the failed third installment. The sequel was uninspired and an unworthy sequel to the original. The walking Statue of Liberty made the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man look realistic by comparison. The sequel failed to make half the money the first picture made because it was about half as good. Loose Cannons with Gene Hackman is on my list as one of the worst buddy cop movies of all-time (did I mention Dragnet is on that list?). The Washington Post: “Hackman mostly just stands around watching Aykroyd run through his exertions with the look of a man who has something unspeakable on the sole of his shoe.”
Admittedly, I find Nothing But Trouble somewhat amusing, but it’s a terrible film. Congratulations on your Razzie win in 1992 for Worst Supporting Actor. It must have been an honor to also be nominated for Worst Screenplay, Worst Director and Worst Picture. According to IMDB, you based the film on your experience of being pulled over in the Northeaster United States and taken to see the Justice of the Peace in the middle of the night. What a great idea for a movie . . . I bet it was just like Nothing But Trouble. By the way . . . I saw that in the theater. Any chance I can get my money back?
The rest of your decisions throughout the 90’s killed the idea of a “Dan Aykroyd film.” A year after Wayne’s World became a box office smash you gave us the Coneheads movie no one was asking for. I suppose sixteen years after the sketch debuted on SNL was the perfect time for a feature film. Appearing in North was ill-advised. In the same year you starred in the dreaded Exit to Eden. The only person I wanted to see in bondage less than Rosie O’Donnell was you. As of today the film is the 4,249 most successful movie of all time with just over $6 million dollars. Perhaps Celtic Pride seemed like a good idea before the film actually got made. Die hard Celtic fans kidnapping the star player of the Utah Jazz . . . Comedy gold. The efilmcritic.com noted it was “The worst concept, execution and end product ever.” Perhaps the website would have thought differently if they knew Blues Brothers 2000 was just two years away. I suppose there is nothing like grabbing your classic film (and one of your best) and taking a dump on it. The thought of John Goodman, bad acting and the kid Blues Brother still make me sick. Do you think it’s possible Bill Murray was thinking about Blues Brother 2000 as he ran the Ghostbusters III script through the paper shredder? It’s possible . . .
The last 10 years or so have been a bunch of minor roles that range from below average to well below average: the bomb Diamonds, an odd appearance in Pearl Harbor, the Ghostbusters rip off Evolution, The Curse of the Jade Scorpion, the Brittney Spears lead Crossroads, 50 First Dates, Christmas With the Kranks and War Inc.
So why bother with this letter? Well . . . I haven’t forgotten Neighbors, Trading Places, Doctor Detroit, Spies Like Us, The Great Outdoors and effective appearances in Driving Miss Daisy, My Girl, Chaplin, Sneakers, Tommy Boy and Grosse Point Blank. Unfortunately, the memories have been substantially clouded by poor decisions and obvious attempts to capitalize on classics throughout the years. Listen to Bill Murray. He has well done for himself over the last 10 years. Don’t make Ghostbusters III. We really don’t want to see old, fat men chasing their careers.
Source : CMP Original